Correcting Engrained Childhood Issues…

If you love your children or the children in your life(and I’m sure you do) you may want to protect them from some of the issues that could stunt their emotional growth.

Sometimes it may look as if you’re being harsh to your children or those you don’t want to influence them negatively.

It could be another child, a family member, a neighbor, or a television show. It could be an idea or a philosophy, it could be an illness.

But inevitably life hands all of us blocks. Things that seemingly get in the way of our progress, but perhaps they actually offer us the ability to progress more steadily, with more fulfillment and understanding. This is so for our children.

For children life can be extremely involved. Children are like sponges and some things they just can’t process completely. This doesn’t stop them from trying however. They do their best and sometimes this leads to issues. I certainly remember things from my childhood that I misunderstood and took deeply into myself. I’ve also seen the wheels rolling in the minds of other children as they put ideas together to see their way around a difficult issue.

What do we as adults do to help them with them? Is there anything we can do? I think it depends on the issue what the best response is, but most importantly I think children need to be heard and need to know they are supported. If you can’t do it yourself, try to find someone who can.

Adults are not superheroes, we can’t all offer everything to the children in our lives, but we can be honest and acknowledge what they’re going through. Please don’t ignore your children’s issues. It may be painful, and we don’t want to look at the things we feel we can’t solve, but its important to bring awareness to each situation you witness, and to let the child know they are not alone, that they can find their way out.

If you ignore the issue may become several unnamed issues that are too difficult to tackle as they spider-web around the whole world of the child. They may grow up and become an adult that looks fine on the outside but is choked up by the spinning inside. Or they may become an adult that is so caught up and dissheveled they can barely function. Or they may encounter a breakdown at a very early age.

As parents we can’t be responsible for the outcomes of anyone else’s lives, even our children. We have to let go and allow…but we can bring focus to what we notice and what we feel is important and be aware of the issues so that they may reach the light of day and be uncovered before they become too many issues to see clearly.

These things will come up. Sometimes they will be solved quickly and sometimes they may take years before anyone can really understand the answer, but it is worth it to just allow the truth to sit out in the open. I hope this inspires adults to show awareness of their own childhood issues that may need to be released, as well as the issues of the children in their lives.

–Nanny Naturale

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5 thoughts on “Correcting Engrained Childhood Issues…

  1. Thank you for your post!
    My daughter is a bit, shall we say, anxious. I try to acknowledge her fears (about her dying, me dying, the sun dying….etc.) but also try to help her get out of her “loop” of worry. When I notice that she is getting wound up about some worry, and is ruminating and not able to move on, I use the “two-time rule.” She can ask me (or tell me) about the thing she is worried about two more times, and then we move on to something else. If she asks again, I just say “two-time rule, we’re moving on.” I don’t do this to invalidate her worries, but to help her get out of a cycle of worrying in which she gets more and more worked up, and isn’t coming to peace, acceptance, or a resolution. To help her get to a state of calm, I also have her draw a picture in her journal of “what she’s afraid of, and what’s real.” This almost always does the trick of helping her come to terms with her worries and get to a happier place.

  2. That’s awesome kamellia. I also use creativity as a way to express and draw out feelings so they can be processed differently, but I think the two-time rule is great. She knows she’s heard and yet she also knows that you believe it is okay to let it go. Thanks so much for sharing! That’s a great tip!

  3. Good comments! I was an internal anxious kid and I think the two more time rule would have been a way to get me to talk about my stomach ache! I’ve done many self-evals in my adults years and have good self-chants when I feel anxious, and remind myself that I have a wild imagination with spinning out scenarios. 🙂

    I’ve had the BEST conversations with my kid by asking questions in problematic times. He’s very expressive in contributing to conversation but isn’t one to start a conversation regarding himself. Now that I typed that I just saw the link with myself as a kid! Weird.

    • I know its wild how that happens huh? So often I’m writing about my children and all of a sudden *bingbingbing*…”hey, that’s me”. Recently my daughter was getting really upset about something, when we talked it out she decided to get upset about something else and said “you make me or that makes me sad”…I told her okay you are sad about that, but you made you sad…and that’s okay, but you have the power to make yourself happy too. You know what your sad about, lets talk about what you can be happy about. When we started listing what she was happy about her facial expression and body language changed so drastically and suddenly she was a little firecracker again “THAT’S TOO MUCH” she laughed running away from me, and I was able to take a warm bath by myself for a few minutes, lol!

      • “THAT’S TOO MUCH” A wonderful adult goal to have for each day – a list that’s too full of happy stuff!! 🙂 Nice to meet you, by the way. I really dig your blog and it seems like one of a kind! Gooooo girl!

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